Today I started preparing my garden. Planting real seeds but also seeds of intention, in the nursery and also in my heart center. This year I'm open to growing my own food and intentions of love, compassion, forgiveness, trust, authenticity, trust and truth. It's not an easy path to walk, choosing to see myself in every person that exists on this planet. Knowing that our human qualities and mistakes are what truly connect our souls. My pain is your pain knowing and remembering we all suffer differently. Focusing on dissolving these borders and judgements will create more space for love.
Loving the unlovable is the journey of the hard road I’m prepared to travel. Even if it means waiting in baggage reclaim to then literally drag it down cobblestone streets just to get a little bit closer to the destination in finding true love. I've been driving down dusty undeveloped dirt roads living in Nicaragua over two years now. I got this!
Love will find its way and it will grow like an unstoppable weed bringing forth abundance. And!!!! The pineapple I planted last year finally has a visible mini one already growing into its self. As to say, here I am! I'm a soul. I'm you. I'm me. A reflection of each other is what we truly see.
As each day passes my father’s expiration date or most would call it the anniversary of my father’s death gets farther and farther away but no amount of space or time could ever make up for the absence of someone we love. It would merely be wrong to try and find a substitute for the loss, it’s the gap in the longing to be filled that is a necessary suffering that must be felt and what truly binds us humans together. This gap remains empty until a healthy yet solid replacement of love can fill it, not even God or the Universe can fill this empty hole in my heart and they work to keep it unfilled in order to keep the communion alive even at the cost of pain. Keeping this gap open after a loved one has died is a way to store energy and this kind of accumulation of nothingness is where healing energy lives and thrives. After my father died I had the courage to start a new life because I knew that if tomorrow was going to be my expiration date I had no time to waste. So, in this gap resides a powerful physic-like energy that is expendable like money to attract abundance if the right intentions and patterns are spinning.
As I walked through the dry dead garden, witnessing it’s eagerness for new growth now that the rain has arrived, a thought crossed my mind. Humans do not have an expiration date like the store-bought chicken or milk that tells you when it will expire. Just like karma has no deadline. Our day will arrive unknowingly like a cold knock on the door that startles you from a dead sleep.
But will you be asleep? Are you sleeping now or are you awake? I don’t mean really sleeping ... I mean are you really awake? Is your consciousness awake? Are you living a life that you love? Are you spending time with people who love you, support you, admire you and give you unconditional love? Unconditional love is the kind of love I’m seeking. The kind of love that is pure and not given based on something I can do for another or what they can do for me. The kind of love I speak of is given freely for no reason at all but just because each one of us has the ability to love. An equal exchange of energy.
Just as we practice yoga we must practice death and we must practice love. To practice death will teach us how to practice freedom. And if we are free, our love too will be free. Don’t be afraid if you hear the knock, be more afraid if you are sleeping through it day by day, ignoring the reality in which you really live. Fear does not know death’s first name just as a stranger does not know mine. A person who has truly learned how to die while living can only be born into everlasting freedom.
Your soul must be burned bit by bit and what you thought or ever felt was normal, needs to die right now and burn equally alongside your tattered soul. Let it go up in flames! I only want to be friends with people who truly know how to die as they inspire me to break down and grow again. Just like the compost in my garden. I used the broken down matter to start the new seeds that will produce food to feed my soul. I’m going to burn normal to bits and allow my soul to be born again, I do this often. Each day I confront my insecurities and abandon what most would consider “normal” one wave at a time. It wasn’t until I was fully broken open and burned down to the ground I rose up stronger and discovered my higher self.
People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. Do you agree?
I believe we are seeking an "experience of being A L I V E ... so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." That extreme state of happiness is what being alive feels like. If you are not living this more often than not, then you need to be willing to die in order to be born again.