As I stepped outside my house the Nicaraguan heat suffocated my breath and for a moment I thought, what is hotter than the weather in Nicaragua year round? The topic of Infidelity. Yep, it sure is. Muy muy caliente!
Don’t worry I’ll be throwing caution to the wind to cool things down with the intention to bring about change and awareness whilst knowing damn well that this topic can be one of the biggest fears we face as human beings in a relationship.
As spiritual beings we are forever learning, developing and evolving. Thank you for being here. If you are here, you are prepared to do the dirty work.
We pick opportunities and experiences that are optimum for our spiritual growth and awareness. I’m only trying to inspire your thoughts through guidance so together we can create a more conscious creation of our lives and this world. Our lives are a canvas to which we paint our own destiny. And what I’m about to paint for you is simply a picture of my own thoughts and awareness for you to either relate to or not. My words are for your consideration only. Don’t burn me at the stake please, it’s hot enough here!
So here I am. Living my life by surfing the waves of karma. Listening to that inner voice to guide my decisions. Enjoying the natural ebbs and flows of what comes my way. Living my life’s purpose through a yogic lifestyle. Treading lightly over everyone’s dreams by practicing non-judgement. Eliminating gossip and bad habits. Learning about archetypal patterns and why I attract certain people into my life and why I have come into yours. Accepting full responsibility of each interaction and of any mistreatment, learning from it and moving on. Living each moment in the present, surrendering to the divine power of the universe as I manifest each intention. Flowing with nature, not concerned about time. Loving each creature and being that comes onto my path and having compassion for the people who are hurting and accepting that us humans are only doing our best under each given circumstance. I have not walked one step in your shoes but your pain is also mine. Forgiving each person that may have broken my heart because it releases me from my own suffering. Not only am I speaking my truth but I’m doing my best to match each word and apply it to the way I currently live, not pretending, and being my most authentic self. Loving the reflection I see in the mirror and each reflection I see when I look at each one of you, because we are all one, connected by light and dark. Hugging your shadow because my shadow is yours, befriending your ego because your ego is mine. Softening my gaze to see beyond what might be currently forming and knowing that each one of us is a soul made of energy and spirit. We are all beautiful. I exist because we exist.
The topic of infidelity has been a raging fire in my second Chakra, Swadhisthana throwing me off-balance because I have been faced with unconscious desires and sexual temptations even a saint would have a hard time saying no to. I have attracted unavailable men not because I have ever been unfaithful in a relationship but for other reasons that I will discuss in the following paragraphs. The courage to speak about it is coming from the necessity to keep my Throat Chaka, Vishuddha pure by being authentic and speaking the truth as I heal my Heart Chakra, Anahata keeping this tiny flame lit while maintaining the ability to make decisions outside of the realm of karma and attracting faithful available love in the future.
As a side note, but an important one! To my dear friends, my friends with boyfriends, this does not pertain to you so don’t go getting your panties in a wad. Your boyfriends are faithful and amazing. Believe me, none of these men I'm referring to are dating any women I personally know.
Infidelity, colloquially known as cheating, adultery, or having an affair. Breaking a promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner in a committed relationship is the reality we face. And it is a problem.
So how can we stop infidelity? I’m starting with myself, by being honest and speaking the truth.
I have asked myself, “Why do I chose un-trustworthy men with little integrity that have the ego to keep pursuing other women while he’s in a relationship because he values excitement more than stability?”
The answer: I chase exciting interesting men in the hopes they are single and available and it may come as a surprise to you but it’s because I’m exciting and interesting myself. ha, ha!
When meeting exciting interesting men, I see the reflection of myself and that feeds my curiosity. Unfortunately, many of these exciting interesting men I have met over the past two years have not been single and nor have they admitted to having a girlfriend up front. But the truth always comes out, in time, because I make sure to ask the appropriate questions and put a stop to taking things further. I know in my heart of hearts he’s not going to leave his girlfriend so I find no more thrill in the hunt. Duh. But, I am left with the disappointment and thought that “all the good ones are taken.” When the reality is "this man had no integrity in the first place, I don’t want him!"
Looking at my archetypal patterns and the energy I’m spinning, I obviously have trust issues. I keep attracting unavailable men. So here I am, knee-deep in the muck because I placed myself here, not because I have ever cheated on anyone, but because I planted these seeds of doubt that relationships are not pure because I had been cheated on in my very first relationship. Having little trust in men stems from these old patterns of the past. Now I’m forced to look at these patterns and change the only common denominator in my life which is myself. If you are a man reading this and keep attracting women who are also in a relationship, take responsibility for your own actions, right here and now - join me.
In the end, we can only take responsibility for changing our own self and the way we view life and the choices we make. I’m not embarrassed about it. I’m human. I make mistakes but learning from them is the most valuable lesson gained through every experience I encounter. I’m willing to do the dirty work, to get down on my hands and knees and look under that bottom shelf called my past life, you know the one, the one that hasn’t been dusted for a long time. Get under there and clean that sh@t OUT!
Infidelity may be inevitable whether its physical or emotional but it is most definitely not a black and white solution.
So if you relate to my words in any fashion, ask yourself these questions:
What does your relationship mean to you? What do you share together that no one else can intercede and take? Are your parents still together? Did your father leave you or your mother? Do you have any role models or paradigms of successful relationships in your life? Have you always gone for emotionally unavailable men/women or did you start after a specific event in your life?
So, starting today and not a minute sooner, I WILL start choosing men based on ONE quality alone: integrity.His and my own! Integrity will trump attraction and I have already quickly discovered that the lack of impulse to engage with men who are taken are going to bring me closer to the one I’m meant to be with. No more distractions.
I will find a man who loves the ocean just as much as I do, believes in the innate oneness of all things and beings, knows that love is the only thing that can change the world, loves vintage anything like: a good vintage boxed wine, vintage shoe and furniture shopping, exploring and traveling to far off distance lands, laughing, and did I mention laughing? Laughing at stupid things and each other, food and eating the food I cook. okay, okay never mind...I've gone too far. But you know what I mean and you know how the story ends.
If you want to learn more about the Chakras and how to clear any negative energy and eliminate old archetypal patterns, join me in Nicaragua for a vigorous yoga practice specifically related to what you may be experiencing in your life. If you can't join me here I'm available for Archetypal Readings and Guidance for healing via email and skype. Or just join me for a surf date!
Email me: email@example.com and don't forget to leave a comment or subscribe to my blog!
Testimonial, just in-case you are skeptical.
In the words of Barb K. from Seattle Washington:
"I have had the fortune to learn from yoga teachers practicing different disciplines in multiple cities, multiple states and multiple countries. Each teacher whose path I have had the privilege to cross leaves some kind of impression; subtle, like a watermark gently etched on my subconscious. While I am grateful for these intersections, most easily come and go as if flipping pages in a book. Two days ago I was given a gift, a very meaningful, beautiful, and forever unique gift. Sha Kti (Heidi) introduced me to the true meaning of yoga; how the body, mind and universe collectively consort based on the energy I share, and those energies I have been holding in my collective conscious that desperately seek release. Upon awakening I expected it to be another normal Monday, (sans being in Nicaragua). + I saw Sha Kti (Heidi) readying to meditate and perhaps do yoga. I asked if I could join her. Her joyful smile welcomed me. Practicing yoga with Sha Kti (Heidi) was natural, pure, lucent… Her words spoke to my soul. I felt empowered and inspired to determine my life’s aspirations. I was reminded again; anything is possible. It’s my path, my story, my book to write. A thousand thanks will never be enough for the majestic memory of my experience." BK